


Ever Since We Met

by megstiell



Category: Hunter X Hunter, anime - Fandom
Genre: Explicit Language, M/M, NSFW, im sorry if anyone is out of character, maybe including feitan x phinks?, this is top!chrollo and bottom!hisoka
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2019-11-18 17:11:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18124130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megstiell/pseuds/megstiell
Summary: This fic will take place some point before their fight at Heaven’s Arena and some point after Hisoka flees from the scene during the election arc. This will revolve around Hisoka visiting Chrollo at the troupe’s new hideout and them discussing things and their stance as people and/or partners and approaching Hisoka and Chrollo’s personalities and characteristics, hence why I apologise if someone may seem out of character! Please enjoy!





	1. Prior to the Meeting ~ ❤️

~ You have such a heart on hunting me forever from the start, it’s never silent ~

 

Chrollo sat with his book in his hands, hunched over examining the pages, while Phinks, a strong loyal member of the troupe watched his leader with slight disbelief in his eyes. 

‘Danchou, do you really think this is a good idea? Being out here, like this?’ Phinks inquisitively asked.  
Chrollo did nothing but sit, pondering who would be of use to him first;  
The magician or the chain user.  
He gave his thoughts a couple of minutes to come about their decisions before finally opening his mouth - with Phinks waiting patiently. 

‘Yes, do you think there is any problem with it Phinks?’ he responded. ‘Please let me know if there is, and I will change it’  
Phinks looked to the ground, glanced over at his friend Feitan who just announced his presence in the room, turned around and began to leave. 

‘I am gathering from his silence that he does not know what to say’ Feitan added. ‘as you can see we are all relieved you are back but we are still left with questions’.  
Chrollo nodded, Feitan also left the room and began to look for the troubled Phinks. 

‘Please close the door on your way out, Feitan. I appreciate the privacy for a while.’ 

Feitan obeyed. 

 

Somewhere that same night, a certain ‘anonymous’ magician was lurking nearby, phone in hand, waiting for the best opportunity to unleash his presence into the Troupe’s new hideout. 

*[1] new text message:  
Illumi Zoldyck: You found the hideout, didn’t you Hisoka? * 

Hisoka laughed to himself, ignoring the text message and going straight for the phone-call to his so-called friend. 

Illumi answers after the phone rings out thrice. 

‘Yo’ Illumi speaks, slight irritation in his voice. ‘What do you want? I text you, all you had to do was respond with your emojis or, whatever.’ he asks his eccentric friend, honestly dreading his response. 

‘Hmm? You knew that i’d find it, illumi?’ he asks. 

‘You never give up on your prey, I should know that by now’ Illumi replies. ‘Even your prey should know that by now.’ he adds. 

Hisoka deeply inhales. 

 

‘Ahh! Yes, he should!~ ❤️’ he exhaled. 

‘Anyway, i don’t want to keep you from your fun.. That is, why you decided to go isn’t it?’ Illumi began, ‘You don’t want to fight him tonight do you? You don’t just want to talk’ he continued. 

‘Oh? What are you suggesting?’ he smirked. 

‘I’m suggesting you cut the crap and you fuck him’ he bluntly stated. 

Hisoka scoffed. ‘Really?’ was all he could really fathom and reply to his friend, who had somewhat outdone himself in presenting Hisoka with another shocking mishap. 

‘You missed a good opportunity to fight even Netero, you missed out on the Chimera Ants, because you were dedicated to hunting your prey.’ Illumi stated. 

‘Spoken like a true assassin’ Hisoka jokingly replied.  
He laughed then sighed. 

‘Well, i’m gonna go now. Have fun. Bye.’ Illumi said, as monotone as ever. 

He knew his friend, not that well yet, but well enough to know that it wasn’t just fighting he desired from Chrollo. 

You see, Hisoka, he is the kind to get aroused by almost anything strong and overpowering. He feels a sense of sudden euphoria and the euphoric state sends him into a frenzy - call it bloodlust, call it being turned on. It affects him bad. Hearing Illumi say those words, ‘you should fuck him’ made him feel something he had never felt before. An arousal even he couldn’t comprehend. Whatever is the poor clown to do? The light in Danchou’s room just lit up the dead atmosphere that surrounded their secret hideout. Simultaneously, lighting up Hisoka’s sudden urge and desire. 

He moved towards Danchou’s window.


	2. Thoughts and Realisations ~❤️

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when the troubled magician finds himself caught in the act of getting lost in thought?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is kind of short compared to chapter one, but hopefully it sets up what fate lies in store for Hisoka during chapter three! 
> 
> Enjoy ! <3

Hisoka was pacing himself, something he rarely does, especially when he’s so excited about something as sweet and savouring as a meeting with Danchou~❤️. 

Oh but, you see, this time he was filled with a new sense of euphoria, a new wild sensation filling his theatrical self. 

These feelings for Chrollo? Were they compensating for something else? The need to fight, was it the need to fuck the head of the Phantom Troupe? 

‘Interesting~’ he pondered to himself. ‘What if, after all this time..’ he trailed off. 

He grew closer and closer to the balcony, from where he was stood he spotted Chrollo undressing into a more casual dress. 

The magician’s eyes began to light up and he licked his lips but, began to retract his next step as he really thought about what the hell it was he was doing there. Why! Why did he get so caught up and lost in a twisted fantasy regarding Chrollo and a finale involving an epic battle royale to the death.  
THAT is something that would get him off. Never really considered physicality of the occasion, though sex is something Hisoka does daydream about quite often. 

He recalls one time where at least one person he knew, that was of consenting age, appeared in his dirty thoughts. 

Machi (quite often, but not enough), Illumi (though they have only known each other briefly, something attracted him to the elder troubled Zoldyck child), and then he remembered..

 

‘Oh fuck’ he thought to himself. ‘I’ve been fantasising fucking Chrollo too? This… this is who the unrecognisable figure has been in my head? The one that dominated my every move?’ he continued. 

Hisoka spent all that time thinking to himself that he never realised that Chrollo noticed him on the side of the roof of the building. 

Chrollo sighed then chuckled. Gently stating to the magician, who looked half confused and half at ease - but definitely on edge. ‘Why don’t you come in?’ 

Hisoka smiled. ‘Oh Danchou?! You mean it~’ he smirked. 

‘Yes, hurry up and be quiet’ he replied. ‘They can’t know you’re here. They will kill you before i even get the chance’ he finished. 

‘Anyway..’ Danchou began ‘i wasn’t expecting to see you here’. 

Hisoka stood in the center of Chrollo’s room, while Chrollo was pressed against a dressing table, arms folded. Hisoka had his left hand on his hips and and other hand pushed to the corner of his lip. 

‘Hmm.. Danchou~’ he frowned. ‘Is that.. Sarcasm i hear?’

‘Of course not’ Chrollo replied, smiling looking at the ground then back up at Hisoka who raised an eyebrow. 

Hisoka began to walk towards Chrollo. He took two steps when suddenly Chrollo spoke, ‘what are you doing here?’ 

This stopped Hisoka in his tracks. But he didn’t answer. Because he didn’t even know himself.  
Quickly, he responded as ‘casually’ as he could; ‘To see you before the big event? ~❤️’ 

‘The heaven’s area match?’ He answered.  
Hisoka nodded. 

‘So, that would make right here, right now….’ he began. ‘Foreplay?’ 

Hisoka stood speechless. ‘Huh?’ was all he could say. 

‘You always find a way to sexualise your battles, or at least make them arousing, do you not?’ Chrollo asked the puzzled magician. 

‘Well.. i never really noticed. I just love it when i find a worthy prey and their strength excites me. It gets me going, you know?’ Hisoka explained.  
‘But enough about that.. I can save that for a better time.’ 

Chrollo nodded and opened his lips to speak, he began to walk over Hisoka who was at least 4 steps away from being very closely face-to-face with Chrollo. 

‘Well then, shall i tell you why i invited you in?’ 

Hisoka looked Chrollo in the eyes, and answered, 

‘Please do.’


	3. The main event? ~❤️

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the moment they were both waiting for! but, just how far will it go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter contains a lot of NSFW material - not too much, just a nice fair amount. This is my first time ever writing nsfw !! i hope you enjoy it ^_^

~ Ever since we met ~ 

‘You really want to know?’ Chrollo asked once again. He had to be sure he wanted to know the truth.  
He couldn’t play it off anymore, not when he was this close. 

‘Are you going to make me beg? ~’ Hisoka asked. 

‘Maybe’ Chrollo answered with slight hesitation. 

Hisoka was riled up. But not enough. Not to Chrollo’s satisfaction. 

‘Fine.’ Hisoka began. ‘Danchou! Please..’ 

He edged forward. One more step forward. 

No reaction from Chrollo. 

He sulked. 

‘This is no fun’ Hisoka stated, like a kid that had been refused candy or the chance to do something exciting. 

He was merely two steps away from Chrollo when Chrollo signalled for him to stop. 

‘Stay there.’ 

‘Oh?~’ 

‘The reason i asked you inside is because..’ he began. 

He looked Hisoka dead in the eyes. 

Tension filled the air, not even a knife could cut through the intensity. 

This was insane. Hisoka was driving himself crazy with various thoughts in his head - every single one of them now not even about fighting Chrollo. 

No, my friends, he wants Chrollo. He wants him bad, 

He’s so close now, so close.. Yet so far away. 

‘You better open that fucking poetic mouth of yours before I lose control ~’ Hisoka thought to himself, ever so seductively. 

‘..is because i want to know how it feels to hear you say my name’ he finished. 

‘I always say y-’ Hisoka began when he was caught off guard by Chrollo grabbing the padding of his attire. 

‘Shut the fuck up and let me do this’ Chrollo whispered with heavy breaths. 

Chrollo planted a kiss on Hisoka’s confused yet giving lips. 

It was sweet, it was powerful.  
At first, anyways. 

Until he realised he wanted more. 

 

~ I only shoot up with your perfume ~ 

 

‘No, i..’ Chrollo breathed into Hisoka’s mouth. 

‘Hisoka, i want more’ 

Hisoka smirked at a very serious yet very satisfied Danchou. 

‘Danc-’ he stopped when he noticed Chrollo was shushing him, placing a finger on his lips. 

‘You’re too loud’ Chrollo replied, Hisoka grabbed his finger and placed it in his mouth. 

‘I know you said foreplay but you have to do better than that.’ Hisoka whispered with a smirk. 

Chrollo’s bed was a few inches away from them both. He could easily push the magician down on that bed and do with him whatever he must right there and then. 

And that he did. 

Chrollo used his right hand to push Hisoka down, Hisoka felt as light as a feather within Danchou’s grasp- as if his body surrendered to Chrollo without hesitation. 

Chrollo sat up and admired a, now vulnerable yet still fully clothed Hisoka. 

‘You want Danchou?’ he asked. 

Hisoka licked his lips. ‘Is that even a question?~❤️’

‘Then take off your clothes’. He commanded with a whisper. ‘Quickly.’ 

Hisoka began to take off everything he was wearing. Shoving them in a corner of the room.  
He lay back down, on his back. Revealing himself to Chrollo, in such a new light. 

‘You’re so fucking attractive. Lying there like that’ Chrollo said, as he used his hands to explore Hisoka’s body. 

‘MMmm ~❤️’ Hisoka moaned, ever so faintly - no one can hear them remember? 

‘I don’t even know where to start’ Chrollo looked up at Hisoka who looked so overwhelmed. 

‘Where to touch you… where to please you.. I’m spoilt for choice’ He smirked, as he began to kiss Hisoka’s neck, running kisses down his stomach. 

He looked back up at the magician, who began to enter himself into a brand new state of ecstasy - no amount of strength and power could compare to this. 

‘I want you Danchou!! ~❤️’ he screamed quietly. ‘Don’t keep a poor magician waiting!’ He begged. 

‘What’s the magic word then, magician?’ Chrollo teased. 

‘Please?’ Hisoka answered sarcastically, and chuckling quietly. 

Chrollo moved back up to kiss him again - instead it was filled with passion, filled with desire, filled with hatred funnily enough. Raw, emotional and sexual energy. 

Chrollo began to undress himself, with Hisoka’s help. 

 

~ it’s the only thing, that makes me feel as good as you do ~ 

 

He mounted the magician and began to taste Hisoka in a way he never did before, and as Hisoka’s most precious and delicate part of his body entered Chrollo’s mouth it was like both their world’s experienced an epiphany - no-one felt uncomfortable, no-one felt weird. It felt right. 

He teased and teased his most sensitive spot. 

‘D-danchou! W-woah!~’

He stopped. Hisoka was almost over the edge. 

He grunted and Chrollo began to lean back and stand up, he then wiped his mouth. 

‘Now look.. I am afraid i can’t give you that full satisfaction until the big fight you know that?’ Chrollo laughed. 

‘Plus, you’re beginning to get really loud and i think Phinks is upstairs’ 

Hisoka blushed. Sitting up. 

He looked away sulking, mimicking a little child again. 

‘You got to taste me’ he began. ‘Why couldn’t i taste you?~’ he asked, so close to begging on his knees. 

‘You want to taste me?’ Chrollo seductively whispered, moving closer to Hisoka on the edge of his bed again. 

Placing himself in front of Hisoka in all of his glory. 

‘Then taste’ he answered, Grabbing Hisoka by his hair, guiding him towards where he knew he wanted to go. 

‘S-so’ he began, as Hisoka was pleasuring him using his once talkative lips and tongue, ‘after all this time you just wanted by dick in your little whore mouth?’ he joked. 

Hoping for a reaction from Hisoka, just used this joke as an opportunity to completely rock Danchou’s world. 

Hisoka began to move faster. 

And faster  
And faster. 

He looked up to see Danchou’s face. 

 

 

~ Ever since we met, i got just one regret to live through. ~ 

 

 

‘Oh!’ he thought to himself. ‘He’s never looked more beautiful.. I think he’s about to finish, but i can’t give him that joy either’ 

Hisoka removed his lips from Chrollo, who was feeling very sensitive. 

Chrollo should be mad, because he was almost there… but he did stop Hisoka from emptying all over him or inside of his mouth.  
He couldn’t do it, no it’s not the right time. 

Hisoka copied Danchou’s move and wiped his mouth and began to dress himself. 

‘So, this was fun!~❤️’ Hisoka said as he cat-walked towards Danchou’s window. 

Chrollo also began to dress himself. 

Hisoka was now back on the balcony. 

‘I suggest you leave before anyone finds you’ Chrollo said walking towards his window. 

‘No kiss goodbye?~❤️’ Hisoka teased. 

Chrollo rolled his eyes, scoffed and laughed. 

‘See you in the arena, i guess..’ he said, winking at Hisoka, 

‘You got me so excited, you big tease!~’ Hisoka confessed. ‘I simply cannot wait another minute!’ he began, ‘But.. i will’ he answered. 

Hisoka disappeared without a trace. 

Chrollo walked to his bathroom, he washed his face with ice cold water and looked up at his reflection in the mirror. 

He looked flushed, he looked different. 

Just how is he going to fight Hisoka now? Knowing his victory is certain? 

 

 

~ And that one regret.. Is you! ~


	4. Cobweb Headaches ~❤️

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is another short chapter sorry again! Hope it was still enjoyable though! :-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do not read this if you haven't read the HxH manga from ch.350 onwards!!  
> This contains spoilers!!

Chrollo, Phinks and Feitan were sat in their newest hideout in darkness and complete silence. One candle lighting the whole room. 

‘He really fucking took them away from me?’ Chrollo sat and thought to himself.   
‘Kortopi..’ his mind began to trail off into memories of his dear friend and near enough member of family. 

‘Shalnark too….’ 

Feitan and Phinks were sat with their troubled leader, mourning the deaths of two friends they not long ago deemed family members.

‘Chrollo stood up. 

‘I thought i fucking killed him.’ he began. He inhaled, then began to scream.   
Oh god, that hurt. That fucking hurt.   
Feitan and Phinks couldn’t bare to even look him in the eyes. They sat staring at the ground in silence.They eventually left because both of them couldn’t take it. 

‘He’s doing this because the others aren’t here.’ Feitan calmly stated to Phinks.   
Phinks nodded, a single tear leaving his face.

The scream was painful. Not only physically for poor Danchou’s throat but mentally too.   
The scream of utter and complete despair.   
He was a leader in mourning.  
‘I have to….’ he trailed off whilst beginning to break down into sobs.   
‘I have to fucking……’   
He stopped. He wiped his face. 

‘I’m going out. Don’t know when i’ll be back. Tell the others I needed to take a walk’ Chrollo told Phinks whilst placing one hand on his shoulder.   
He removed his hand from Phink’s shoulder, put on his jacket and began to leave.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

*[1] new text message:   
Danchou~❤️: Where are you hiding? When can I speak to you?*

 

‘Oh you tease! ~❤️’ Hisoka spoke whilst grinning at his phone.   
‘Don’t spoil the fun!’ 

He placed a finger on the tip of lip, and gazed in thought. ‘Do i text that back? No?’   
He sighed,   
‘Nah… maybe not!’ He placed his phone back where he retrieved it from. 

‘Oh well! Business is business!’ He said to himself whilst typing out the digits of a certain friend of convenience’s number. 

 

Chrollo sat on a park bench. Head in his hands. 

A random little girl approached him, say 11/12 years of age. Epitome of innocence. Approaching Chrollo with care and caution. 

‘My mommy told me to give you this’ she stated, causing Chrollo to look up from his hands,   
She handed him a single pink Carnation flower. 

‘Mommy says it means ‘i will never forget you’’ she began.   
Chrollo smiled at the young girl. Taking the flower from her hand and gazing at it with comfort. 

‘Thank you.’ he smiled.   
The girl ran back to her mother. Who looked at Chrollo and shouted over to him. 

‘I’m a nurse, you see.’ she started. ‘I know your look. I know your body language… you’re mourning’ she finished. 

Chrollo nodded. 

‘We’re both so sorry for your loss.’ She said in a comforting voice.   
The little girl spoke up again. 

‘I-If i may ask mister’ she frowned. ‘Who did you lose?’ 

Chrollo smiled sadly. ‘That’s quite alright young lady.’ 

He sighed. 

‘I lost 2 people i considered family’ he began ‘and i lost them to someone who meant something to me that i never really understood.’ he stopped.   
He looked down at the young girl, who was eagerly awaiting his response and back at her mother who looked on with joy that her child was helping a grieving stranger out of the kindness of her heart. 

‘But i just know they were significant in my life.’ he answered. 

The little girl frowned and ran over to hug Chrollo. 

‘Don’t worry mister!’ she said enthusiastically.   
‘They can see you here from heaven! They are looking out for you!’ she smiled. 

Chrollo got up from the bench after the girl ran back to her mother again and they walked away. 

'Kortopi... Shalnark... Can you hear me?' He began to say to himself whilst looking around the park's quiet and peaceful atmosphere.

'I'm replaying a lament...' He sighed. 'Uvo will know what i mean by that.' he smiled to himself. 

Chrollo nodded at them as if to say ‘take care / have a good one’ and began to walk back to the troupe’s new hideout. 

 

 

~ How does a heart look if no-one has noticed its presence and where does it go? ~


	5. it's.. never silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one has a slightly heavier NSFW content as I gained a lot more confidence in my narrative voice! Please enjoy ~

‘Home sweet home?’ Hisoka thought to himself as he shut the door to his given apartment in Heaven’s Arena. 

*[1] new text message:  
Danchou ~❤️: I’m serious. Are you in the Arena?  
This is urgent. Hisoka I just want to know why. *

Hisoka scoffed, he wasn’t sure why he was meant to feel guilty. He did what he had to do. But something made him feel guilt, something made him feel like a delinquent. But what was it?  
He wanted to throw away the phone and just go into hiding one last time.  
He had so many thoughts in his head. So many mixed emotions he couldn’t take it. 

‘Shower time!’ he began. ‘Maybe then I can just sit and relax~’. 

He undressed, carefully stepped into the shower and began to clean himself from the fight.  
So many cuts and bruises he purposely never touched with Texture Surprise, why? Mementos.  
Reminders. Almost like a tattoo. 

He wanted something to remind him of the perfection that was Chrollo’s battle. The perfection that was Chrollo’s words.  
The way he looked as he explained his ability.  
The way he gave Hisoka eye contact and observed him as he listened.  
The way he delivered himself to Hisoka in that moment, it drove him fucking crazy. 

He remembers the exact feeling, the exact outbursts of pleasure he once consumed and surrendered himself to. Both on the battlefield and for a few mere moments in Danchou’s room. 

In his grasp.  
In his clutches.  
In his aura.  
Completely submissive.  
Completely aroused.  
Completely.. complete. 

‘Oh! You make me so excited, Chrollo ~❤️’  
That flashback. The moment it all went full-circle. 

Hisoka was stood almost still as an illusion of motion. And he felt himself get so turned on.  
He felt himself get so tense, he began to reach for himself. He felt sensitive. He felt as if all blood had rushed to his cock in just a matter of seconds and then,  
He groaned. 

‘M-my my, looks like.. I need to take care of this’. 

He turned off the water. He paused.  
‘Hmm, but do i want to make a mess of the bed?~’ He thought to himself.  
‘I’ll just do it in here, where i can be extra loud’ he giggled. 

 

He began to recall how Chrollo began to go down on him. He touched all of the places he touched while recollecting his memories. Every touch to his stomach and scars sparked a sense of nostalgia and the more he wanted to grab his cock and start to trace his hands up and down at the thought of Danchou. 

He placed his hand firmly and gripped his most sensitive spot with the most delicacy he could bring himself to do.  
So lovely, it feels so right!

He moved his hand slowly up and down.  
Shutting his eyes, picturing Chrollo. 

‘Mmm, Danchou. Your.. your perfect, smooth, red lips, your..’ he stopped to catch his breath.  
‘Your perfect, soft, talented tongue… all on me…. All over me…. Making me feel so. Fucking good.’ he continued. 

‘I miss you Danchou’ he exhaled. The movement of his hand getting faster and faster the more he thought about Chrollo’s touch and sensation. 

Hisoka released himself all over his own hands and dripped down to the bathroom tiles.  
He examined the mess and let the water bury the evidence. He patted himself dry, and looked at his flustered reflection in the misty mirror. 

‘How handsome i look like this..’ he stated, mimicking Chrollo’s previous comments from that exciting night. 

‘I need to fuck you next time, Danchou.. Even if it’s the last thing we ever do.’ he spoke aloud to himself, licking his mischievous lips. ‘Or who knows, i’ll.. Let you fuck me’ he chuckled. 

‘Oh! One more thing to do!’ He stated as he walked to the table, unlocking his phone.  
Searching his contact list.  
His finger landed on Illumi’s details.  
He began to ring his friend for assistance. 

‘Yo’ Illumi answered. 

‘Illumi!~’ Hisoka excitedly answered. ‘I need to ask you to do something for me, a personal request~’.

~Trembling hands played my heart like a drum, but the beats gotten lost in the show~


	6. Drag Melody..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very dramatic and poetic Chrollo-centric chapter, the dramatic leader faces his biggest fear - his own mind.

Phinks sat in a cramped and almost ominous corner of the room, staring at Chrollo who was sat on a wooden chair in the opposite corner, burning a candle and using it’s light to read a book. 

‘So Hisoka decides to ask Kalluto’s brother to join the troupe because of a prenup agreement for Illumi to get paid as soon as he dies and we take 0 credit?’ Phinks asks Chrollo. 

‘That’s the way it seems isn’t it.’ Chrollo replied, one metaphor away from completely having a mental breakdown. 

Not only has Hisoka killed two people he considered family, but he’s also added extra bulk to his burdens by increasing the size of the troupe, leaving his mark wherever Chrollo goes. 

‘It’s like our rivalry is inevitable’ he thought to himself. 

He asked Phinks for a moment of privacy and, like previously, he obeyed - looking back at his boss with a look of concern. 

Illumi and Kalluto were out on the job, following orders like they were always trained to do, whatever the cost. 

Chrollo sat in complete silence, book down on the ground, head in hands, eyes closed.  
Trapped in his own thoughts, completely grim. 

‘It seems the spider has been caught in its own web and cannot bring itself to escape’ he began to recite in his mind. 

He gripped the materials of his trousers tight near his thigh, reminiscing a previous night in which himself and Hisoka were pretty much on the verge of full on fucking, except for the fact that Chrollo feared he would take out his frustrations on Hisoka so much that both of them would cause a mess, a huge noise and a barrel of regrets - especially considering they would be fighting to the death in their next encounter. 

He should have never let him in the hideout when he saw him watching from the ledge.  
He should have never let his curiosities dominate his agenda.  
He should have never let that mysterious magician into his life. 

But, in a way, he feels incomplete without him yet so confused as to what he means to him. 

Chrollo wants to sleep the pain and annoyance away, but fears Hisoka will appear in his dreams. 

He wants to confide in a troupe member but fears rejection, judgement and betrayal.  
What a mess he’s in.  
The requiem he begins to compose in his mind is that of a drag melody, conveying sorrow, heartbreak and pain- a melancholy melody only he could hear. 

‘Why can’t i just see you one last time and talk to you… let me figure out this anonymous feeling on my own...’ he thought to himself. 

He looks at his reflection in a darkened window as he stands up to look at the limited view, as half of it is blocked by the dust and grime covering the windowpane. Annoying. He feels like crying.. it was never meant to end up like this, no! not at all. He wants him dead but he wants him alive so he can endure him like before once more. Damn, Danchou 

How did it come to be that he is getting defeated by his own sentimentality? 

You see, reader, both Hisoka and Chrollo feel guilt in their hearts for what they have done to each other, and that in itself is such a tragedy. 

What ever are they going to do?!


End file.
